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Please cheer up.Are we quietly dreaming,
Or wandering through reality?
Give me a chance to stop the screaming,
And a chance to set me free.
Hold the barrel to your lips forgetting any meaning,
And all the questions - one shot and then we will see.
Deaf.Stop myself for a moment.
Can't you hear? Can't you hear?
Sit myself down for a second.
Can't. You. Hear?
Her voice is reaching out to me.
Her lies are all that I can see.
Shes running her fingers over scarred skin.
Sensing the haunting memories held within.
She strokes my throat with cold steel.
Its sharp edge, and the warmth I feel.
She pulls it slowly against my cheek.
Suddenly shaking, I feel so weak.
Skull crashing into the wall.
Tears begin to fall.
She holds onto my throat tightly.
Choking me ever so slightly.
She looks down and begins to speak.
And again. I. feel. so. weak.
"Can't you hear? Open your fucking mouth."
Placing the freezing cold onto the tip of my tongue.
I can taste the iron flavoured rose against the bite of steel.
Again she starts.
"Can't you hear? Swallow bitch."
Fucking WhoreDon't you go telling me theres a reward,
That I cannot fucking reach!
Telling me all your golden ideas and opinions,
That you forvever fucking preach!
Listen so hard, Im frustrated by you cus,
Twisting dark strands of hair around my finger.
Pull, tear, shred and rip it all fucking out.
The faster its done the longer pain will linger.
Right, now I can't hear you anymore.
My skulls filling with the screaming...
And shes telling me I'm a fucking whore!
A state where I wish I was dreaming.
So fucking cliche, yet Im sure it's real.
She loves all my frightened tears.
People sing it so very often.
For gods sake, shes feeding on my fears!
So fucking cliche, dammit. Yet she ain't real!
A shinning guardian angel - Beauty so pure.
Stained crimson. And her carcass black as coal.
Shes chaining me down. No cure.
So cliche it all seems for fucks sake!
Again, and again. Pulling metal through my skin.
It makes her smile oh so contentedly.
My blood to wash away all of my sin.
A voice. One so loud.
Other soul...Fingers out stretched, Lost within memories.
Painfully pressing my palms onto the icy mirror.
Fiery hot pain beginning to explode,
The glass cracks. Agony pulsating within my body.
I grapple with the urge to recoil.
Straining with every fibre of my being.
To retain the contact.
Of my blazing fingertips on the mirror the frozen surface.
The moon is tinted a blue hue here by the glowing moon.
I can tell my eyes are painfully red.
I greet the mirror with my other hand.
Softly touch the tip of my nose against my reflection.
Then pulling my hands down as I relax myself.
The melting rose colour liquid spills onto the darkened surface.
It smears as I move my skin within it.
I press my lips against my own in the mirror.
The soft hot flesh sticks slightly,
Before I pull my head back slightly,
Opening my eyes.
The image on the other side begins to convulse.
It warps, bends and shifts.
I slide my hands to the floor.
Wrists trailing red hot blood.
The crack in the glass grows bigger. Deeper.
End of the world.Burnt smouldering wings on an angels back,
Her fall from grace oh so sinister,
and those tears have stained her face,
She is a poised atop a throne made of roses.
An angel will rarely stay beautiful and pure.
Werent we all innocent in the beginning?
We grow darker day after day,
Slowly being claimed by the worlds decay.
Our minds become broken and twisted,
The wings tainted a crimson red.
And we begin to bleed and rust,
The smiling faces fade into the dust.
Our world is breaking down here can you tell?
Everythings turning into red and the siren is sounding.
And the tortured screams of the damned rise high.
Havent we been awaiting this?
We deserve this as humans.
We are selfish and cruel.
We all deserve to die.
When the red skies come.
Again. Stuff...Thats another ten minutes passed.
I feel. That nothing I do is worthwile.
I want someone to smile,
As a result of my existence.
Something that I've done or said.
To make a connection with someone else.
And for them to understand.
Them to feel compelled to smile a little.
Then I will feel as though Im someone.
And not nothing.
You're worth so much moreShe was the type
to cut her wrists,
and then swallow the
because looking at what
was even harder
but I want to tell her
to let the emotions
p i l
out of her mouth,
instead of her
and that I'll gladly
let the words slice me,
if it means
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
You're beautifulPlease eat.
Are you listening to me?
If you are,
I want to tell you.
You re beautiful.
It doesn't matter what you weigh,
you shouldn't feel guilty about what you ate.
It doesn't matter,
I promise you things will get better.
Listen to my words,
Hold my hand.
Don't worry about the rest of the world,
It's okay if they don't understand,
How it feels like,
To feel fat,
To feel ugly,
To feel worthless.
You are none of those things.
It s okay to be chubby,
It s okay to be skinny.
Because you have a big heart.
And your smile,
Is like a priceless work of art.
And I don't want to see you destroy,
Because you're more than just a broken toy.
And to everyone else,
So for once let yourself be,
Accept your reflection.
Because you are the definition of perfection.
So don't worry,
Don't be sorry,
To be who you are.
Because you re,
Those Green Eyes (Or: Don't Lie to Your Kid)Those green eyes -
The green of joy
The green of hope
The green of love and acceptance -
Were always full of lies.
They first lied when I said,
After a nightmare at four am
When I was too small to reach a light switch,
“Will you ever leave me?”
And those eyes said,
Why did those green eyes
Shut when I needed them most?
"Are you okay?"
Would be a red line
That I would etch into myself
Those green eyes melted.
Those green eyes did shine
And I knew what it was -
I was young, not stupid -
But I indulged the lie,
For those green eyes.
"Will it get better?"
I asked one sunny Saturday
At ten in the morning
And those green eyes looked away;
“And you’ll be here forever?”
There were no words.
I made up my own affirmative.
Those green eyes -
When they saw
How I’d rubbed myself raw
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
What is Hope?Hope is something we have as children,
It helps us thrive and try our hardest.
Hope is what we express in the worst of times
When all hope seems lost.
Hope is what people possess in life
To work toward our dreams.
Hope is a lie
That's not worth our time.
AnxietyAnxiety tapping on my door,
"Can I come inside your head?"
I shiver, not ready for its visit.
It charges in, smelling of worry.
Spends a morning, afternoon and night,
playing with my emotions.
A marionette dancing its old tune on rough strings.
Leaves me winded and praying to beat it the next time.
I miss youYou are a ghost in my head
Living, yet you haunt my thoughts today
To speak your name
Would be to desecrate this space
Where you are, I should not care to know
But you are a never-healing wound
An unfulfilled promise
A chance to do no wrong
My memories burn with your taste, your touch, your smell
Who have I become?
Too long have the years been to me
To find myself wishing for the crossroads
For the chance to say no, one more time.
I Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger TogetherI Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger Together
if i’m being completely honest,
i can’t say i know what you’re goin’ through.
and if i’m being frank,
i’m sort of afraid to write this
because i’ve always been unsure
if i love too much but it’s my nature
and i’d rather lose by trying too hard
than to do so without doing enough.
i hope you’re asleep now
and i hope you don’t read this
till the morning and i hope by then
things will be a little lighter
but i’m hoping against hope
because if you don’t know,
i feel when things are off.
call it intuition, call it a feelin’,
say i just know it.
my friend, my door is always open
even when you’re feeling closed
off to the world and right there,
i can understand that feeling well,
because i still feel we relate to one another
better than most brothers understand their sisters.
know i look at you as a sibling
and i believe we know when the other
sexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexBut can we understand it?
Its thrown around so much, so broken and abused.
Weve tainted it havent we?
Love has become so over used.
Spoiled it with our lust of youth.
Can it not exist, as a sweet tender kiss?
Without a pressure in your neck,
To submiss, to fall, to get down on your knees.
Without love we would all fall into heck.
They're all doing it don't you see?
Parenting for Sex AddictsThe half-day.
We are not those folks that need an occasion to try. And that’s what they call it, too. Trying. As if the very idea of it is taxing. It’s not taxing and we are not those people.
No. We do not go by some magical calendar. Schedules aren’t really our thing in general. That’d be too organized. Too stuffy. Too… I don’t know… too planned. And we’re not the type of people whom plan.
If we could—plan—our lives would be much different. I think. It’s hard to say because this is how we’ve always been.
Our very togetherness is a result of impulse. I’m almost certain that the amount of time it took us to decide to move in together was significantly shorter than the amount of time it took us to remember each other’s names. We might have had our first conversation moments after that first… what I mean to say is we didn’t plan. Because planning would have been much t
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More